Trina stood on a corner and looked north. The storefronts lining the street looked like they were from the nineteenth century, but sold modern things such as pet items, wine, and gourmet hot sauces. Beyond the shops was a breathtaking mountain. She breathed in the crisp air, and held her phone up to take a photo. Her Instagram followers would love it.
This seems to pick up from your previous setting description with the addition of a main character. It still feels like a quaint tourist town, but coming from the perspective of what seems like an Instagram influencer gives it a more modern, youthful vibe. I'm definitely intrigued and would keep reading to learn why Trina picked this town for her followers. Very nice.
I'm looking forward to seeing that. You'll definitely have the opportunity with the next couple of exercises, where you'll be encouraged to develop more detail and also get into the wider surroundings.
A twenty hour bus ride and I’m wondering as I start walking down Main Street was it worth it. I wasn’t expecting snow this time of year which is apparent given the light jacket I’m wearing however with no wind not even a slight breeze it should do. The artist in me sees how each side of the street would converge at the horizon if it weren’t for the mountains still standing guard. Growing up here the mountain guards inflicted my share of cuts and broken bones as I dared to cross them. Perhaps I’ll sketch it though for sure the same scene exist in paintings, drawings, and photographs occupying space in my fathers’ art emporium - art gallery it is not. The emporium appears to be the purple and black painted building based on it’s location. Wonder what made him chose those colors? I haven’t been home in at least a decade my how Main Street has changed.
I like the way art is cleverly woven throughout to unify past and present as well as the possible upcoming family drama. Despite the picturesque winter scene that the artist narrator sees you can feel the tension between father and daughter. I agree with Barb, we wonder what family drama caused her to leave and stay away for a decade and what has brought her back. Nicely done.
This definitely conveys a mood. I’m wondering why the narrator left town and then returned home. I particularly like the sentence about the street converging. It brings the image to life.
Thank you. I initially wrote why the return but cut it out as my word count kept increasing. If next assignment requires us to include more detail - got a good start on that.
Thank you for keeping it short. I think cutting it off actually heightens the tension. Now we're left waiting to learn what happened. You will definitely be able to continue this story in the next assignment, which does indeed ask for more detail among other things.
Trina stood on a corner and looked north. The storefronts lining the street looked like they were from the nineteenth century, but sold modern things such as pet items, wine, and gourmet hot sauces. Beyond the shops was a breathtaking mountain. She breathed in the crisp air, and held her phone up to take a photo. Her Instagram followers would love it.
This seems to pick up from your previous setting description with the addition of a main character. It still feels like a quaint tourist town, but coming from the perspective of what seems like an Instagram influencer gives it a more modern, youthful vibe. I'm definitely intrigued and would keep reading to learn why Trina picked this town for her followers. Very nice.
Thank you very much. I’m hoping to build on this piece.
I'm looking forward to seeing that. You'll definitely have the opportunity with the next couple of exercises, where you'll be encouraged to develop more detail and also get into the wider surroundings.
I can’t wait!
A twenty hour bus ride and I’m wondering as I start walking down Main Street was it worth it. I wasn’t expecting snow this time of year which is apparent given the light jacket I’m wearing however with no wind not even a slight breeze it should do. The artist in me sees how each side of the street would converge at the horizon if it weren’t for the mountains still standing guard. Growing up here the mountain guards inflicted my share of cuts and broken bones as I dared to cross them. Perhaps I’ll sketch it though for sure the same scene exist in paintings, drawings, and photographs occupying space in my fathers’ art emporium - art gallery it is not. The emporium appears to be the purple and black painted building based on it’s location. Wonder what made him chose those colors? I haven’t been home in at least a decade my how Main Street has changed.
I like the way art is cleverly woven throughout to unify past and present as well as the possible upcoming family drama. Despite the picturesque winter scene that the artist narrator sees you can feel the tension between father and daughter. I agree with Barb, we wonder what family drama caused her to leave and stay away for a decade and what has brought her back. Nicely done.
This definitely conveys a mood. I’m wondering why the narrator left town and then returned home. I particularly like the sentence about the street converging. It brings the image to life.
Thank you. I initially wrote why the return but cut it out as my word count kept increasing. If next assignment requires us to include more detail - got a good start on that.
Thank you for keeping it short. I think cutting it off actually heightens the tension. Now we're left waiting to learn what happened. You will definitely be able to continue this story in the next assignment, which does indeed ask for more detail among other things.