"It’s our Friday night ritual. Not landing on Park Place but a family dinner—pot roast and vegetables from Mom’s garden; then, some kind of game, television on in the background so Dad can hear the weather report."
Very nice opening lines, Robin. The first sentence lured me in with the promise of more about a ritual, which most people would be curious about. Although followed with description of a cozy family life, the last sentence offers intrigue and makes me want to continue to find out what's about to change. Question: Does the story have a title?
Hmm. I lean toward "Storms," perhaps with another word or two to add specifics. It's really difficult without knowing more about how the story unfolds.
Storms is definitely a metaphor but I fizzled on using it when I heard a lecture by Donald Maass in which he said he was so tired of authors who use titles as metaphors. I’m not a published author, yet, mind you, and leaders like Maass do influence me. Seems he was pleading to be more imaginative. To me, it’s a working title. I wouldn’t fall on my sword over changing it; however, now, I’m curious which words you’d add.
The story is coming of age, for sure. Also, about how desire—sexual and otherwise— changes circumstances and relationships. It’s set just after WWII when the coast of TX was lambasted by six destructive hurricanes and a polio epidemic. That’s how I came up with Fresh Hell.
I would not attempt to come up with a title for a book I haven't read. I'm sure you'll think of something.
Maybe you're overthinking it or too close to see the big picture, as strange as that may sound. That has happened to me. You could try stepping away for a few weeks. Do other things, then come back and re-read it or parts of it.
Or perhaps have someone whose judgment you trust read it and make suggestions.
"It’s our Friday night ritual. Not landing on Park Place but a family dinner—pot roast and vegetables from Mom’s garden; then, some kind of game, television on in the background so Dad can hear the weather report."
I make no promise it will remain as is.
Very nice opening lines, Robin. The first sentence lured me in with the promise of more about a ritual, which most people would be curious about. Although followed with description of a cozy family life, the last sentence offers intrigue and makes me want to continue to find out what's about to change. Question: Does the story have a title?
I go back and forth between Storms and Fresh Hell. Which do you like?
Hmm. I lean toward "Storms," perhaps with another word or two to add specifics. It's really difficult without knowing more about how the story unfolds.
Storms is definitely a metaphor but I fizzled on using it when I heard a lecture by Donald Maass in which he said he was so tired of authors who use titles as metaphors. I’m not a published author, yet, mind you, and leaders like Maass do influence me. Seems he was pleading to be more imaginative. To me, it’s a working title. I wouldn’t fall on my sword over changing it; however, now, I’m curious which words you’d add.
The story is coming of age, for sure. Also, about how desire—sexual and otherwise— changes circumstances and relationships. It’s set just after WWII when the coast of TX was lambasted by six destructive hurricanes and a polio epidemic. That’s how I came up with Fresh Hell.
I would not attempt to come up with a title for a book I haven't read. I'm sure you'll think of something.
Maybe you're overthinking it or too close to see the big picture, as strange as that may sound. That has happened to me. You could try stepping away for a few weeks. Do other things, then come back and re-read it or parts of it.
Or perhaps have someone whose judgment you trust read it and make suggestions.
Connie, what great feedback.
Happy to be of help.